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i had my regular dose of music this morning when i realized how music has influenced my life.  it never fails to amuse me that every time i play something on my player, my choices are always impeccably matched to my mood or feelings.  it’s not as if i really choose what i listen to; i just randomly get CDs from my stack. 

i have probably sung, even cried to, a thousand of songs.  every time i hear something sad, beautiful, and melodic, i always include it in my soundtrack.  i must have declared so many songs my favorite that a friend of mine said she’d lost track how many times i have used the phrase "my favorite song."  in fact, that’s probably one of my most overused expressions along with "shut up!" and really?"

i have always attempted to write about the soundtrack of my life, but my attempts proved to be futile because i’m a bit fickle (ok, ok.  almost always).  so what i’m going to share with you below are songs that i have been singing this month. 

don’t let me be misunderstood by nina simone.  this song is about a lover asking his/her partner to understand him/her for being imperfect.  although this is pretty much a love song, there are times when i feel like singing the line, "Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood," in a really theatrical way. 

Last week, my friends and I were having a chat in the office when the topic about love was brought up by one of us.  i shared to my friends that one of the definitions of love that i really like is from some philosopher who said that it is "two lonely people holding hands and looking at the same direction."  after i said this, my friend commented,"wow, ikaw na war?  i didn’t know you have that side."  "Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood."

I gave a modified true or false test.  my instruction was for students to read each statement carefully and determine if the underlined word or phrase makes it true or false.  if the underlined word makes the statement false, the student is supposed to write the correct word or phrase on the space provided to make it true; otherwise, students just write TRUE.  A student asked, "Sir, should we change the underlined word if it is true?  "Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood."

I say something unconventional, and people judge me for it.  "Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood."

when i see you smile by bad english.  i’ve heard a bad version of the song and it made me appreciate bad english’s version more.  i love this song because once there was a smile that made my life brighter.  but that smile might be brightening someone else’s day today.  (hold your thought!  don’t say "Ewww!"  just indulge me!)

waiting in vain by bob marley/annie lennox. well, what can i say?  here’s one song for the endless waiting.

no ordinary love by sade. i have often wondered if we are capable of loving unconditionally.  joan, my colleague, said that only God can do it.  what if you fall in love with somebody and you give your whole heart to that person? never mind that your love is not reciprocated.  never mind that you take pleasure in being readily available to that person, albeit, being underappreciated.  "i love you; you don’t have to love me back."  if that is not unconditional love, it definitely is no ordinary love either.

hello by kuh ledesma.  a few years ago, i met again, after some time, the person i have always regarded my soul mate.  i was apprehensive because i didn’t know how i’d take our meeting. our meeting went well; thanks heaven, i didn’t embarrass myself.  after that, i’ve been singing

                           hello, you haven’t changed at all

                          you still have that same look in your eyes

                          and when you smiled, i felt my heart beating fast

                         and i knew right there and then

                         something that i thought was gone came back

                         after all these years i realized

                         that i still care for you

guess i will always be singing this.

love is stronger than pride by sade.  there are times when my friends and loved ones get to my nerves.  i really get hurt easily but i have really learned how to compartmentalize my feelings.

                            i can’t pretend that i intend to stop living

                           i can’t pretend that i’m good at forgiving

                           but i can’t hate you, coz i love you

                          love is stronger than pride

why by annie lennox.  when i first heard this song, it blew my mind.  when annie sang the first line,"how many times do i have to tell you that i’m sorry for the things i’m done," i felt like she was expressing what i was thinking.  when relationships end, the most important question you can ask is why.