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lately, i’ve been craving for everything sweet.  i do not know, but everyday this week, my feet have been leading me to  sweet shops.  yesterday, for example, my friend guia and i went to chantilly and ordered two big slices of chocolate roll.  i enjoyed my slice immensely, but guia, after two bites of the cake, complained that it was too dry and hard.  having noticed guia’s disappointment (i felt so sorry for her because cakes are supposed to cheer you up), i suggested that we go to goldilocks, and there i ordered another chocolate goody. i am not actually concerned that i crave for sweets: to say that i have a sweet tooth would be the understatement of the century.  i am more concerned on what makes me crave more these days.  you see, i’ve been trying to lose weight because of a crazy bet i made with my colleagues, and modesty aside, i am a lot lighter these days–i can even dare to wear semi-fit shirts (still the biggest size, though.  grrrrr).  however, if i don’t control my tongue and drool everytime i see cake, i will bloat in no time at all.  this is not a good sign.  past experiences tell me that i ‘m heading for fatville.  the last time i ballooned to horrifying proportions, i was stressed.  and it seems like stress is paying a visit again–something i dread since i am an emotional eater.

what could be stressing me out?

i think i’m working way too hard.  ask me where i hang out, and i can honestly say, "in the office."  when i pass by places like sted’s and see young students lazing around, i scoff out of envy.  i have never done that before, and i feel like i’m missing out on something.  i’ve always taken my work so seriously that i am afraid my idea of enjoyment would be something people can’t relate to.  sometimes i wish i could loosen up a bit and act my age for once.

these days, i dread waking up in the morning.  i just feel like going somewhere and doing nothing.