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my mom has a very weird theory about being big.  she said that if you walk on the heavier side of the world, people would never know that you don’t have money.  people would assume that you are rich since you are well-nourished.  this must have stuck in my mind because for a long time now, i’ve been wearing everything plus size.

when i was young, weight was never an issue.  i had gotten away with a lot of things because i was chubby; therefore, i was cute.  several years later, i learned the hard way that being cute has an expiration date.  what is cute in elementary could be monstrous in high school.  and so i decided to lose weight and had successfully done so.  i was lanky from fourth year high school up to my third year college.  years of starvation and yo-yo dieting finally caught up with me because towards my college graduation, i started gaining the pounds i lost.  it seemed FAT was back with a vengeance, and so the inevitable happened: i ballooned to horrifying proportions.

my weight wouldn’t have bothered me.  eating out is a favorite pastime.  however, i am sick and tired of going to the mall only to find out that the shirts i like are made for tubercular bodies.  i hate putting up with smug salespersons telling me that i can’t wear a knitted shirt because it’s muscle fit.

something must be done.  oprah winfrey said that the most difficult part of losing weight is making the first step.  boy, was she right.  it was not an easy decision for me to register in a gym: i had to get rid of my prejudices.  i have always been aversed to going to the gym.  i thought one’s muscular body is inversely proportional to one’s brain.  and who could blame me?  muscled people seem to like smaller items of clothing.  where’s the sense in that?  i carefully weighed the advantage and downside of going to the gym.  in one hand, lifting weights is seemingly a no-brainer activity (it’s a kinder way of putting it.  before i thought it’s an activity for the brain dead).  on the other hand, it can make me lose weight and make me really happy.  hmmm. 

after two weeks of religiously going to the gym, i don’t see any significant change in my body.  i have stopped tipping the scale because it’s terribly disappointing.  one thing is for sure though:  i will never give up till i find my thin self again.